Barry Nodder And Mr Sorcerer’s Packing Box
by Leevee
Summary: A parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Barry Nodder, along with his friends Hurtmyknee and Renaldo, attends Hogwarts International Academy of Professional Italian Pizza-making.


Barry Nodder And Mr. Sorcerer's Packing Box By Lee Bailey and Joseph Deall  
  
Chapter the First: The Abra Kadabra Conspiracy 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the- wait a minute, that's the wrong story!  
  
Okay, take two.  
  
'Twas night in Everything's Hollow, and all through the Nodder house, smells of sweet strudel came running like a mouse.  
  
Little Barry was sleeping next to the fire with care, in hopes that flame would start a fire in his hair- you know what, this is annoying. Let's drop the whole "rhyme" thing and move on.  
  
Anyway, Dandelion and Thames Nodder were eating their strudel (it was apple, mmmmm) when suddenly there was a noise, which sounded like a cross between a dying elephant and nails screeching on a chalkboard. Dandelion jumped up in delight. "Oh, goody, someone (or something) is at the door!"  
  
Thames ran to the door like a leaping gazelle! When he opened the door, he was quite shocked to find a tall gothic teenager and a furry fox- like midget holding a box.  
  
The goth cocked his head and said, "Uh, pizza delivery, dude."  
  
Dandelion came out from the kitchen, pushed her husband out of the way and said, "We didn't order any pizza. We just had strudel, and it was apple!"  
  
The goth drooled. "Mmmm, strudel. Strudely."  
  
After enjoying a big piece of strudel (which was still apple) he remembered why he came to the Nodder household.  
  
He tore off his cloak, revealing a Spandex gymnastics suit covered with smiley faces saying "I love me!" The Nodders gasped, realizing it was.the evil, sinister, not nice, mean, and badly dressed Holdadart! Dun dun dun! (creepy, isn't it?)  
  
He then leaned over and took off the midget's cloak, revealing- EWW, YUCK! Oh, wait, that's not what I thought it was. Moving on.  
  
The cloak revealed an odd crouched creature with a fox's face. Dandelion and Thames shrieked! It was one of the frightful Beings of Death, an Abra Kadabra from the hit show with a cult following, Pokemon!  
  
Holdadart clapped his hands to his ears. "Stop that, that hurts my ears, I'm telling if you don't stop!" he whined. "Abra, take care of them!" he shouted, taking a pose.  
  
"Abra!" cried the psychic fox being as it jumped forward, armed with, well, arms, but also a *gasp* feather! He leapt at the Nodders and started to tickle them to death. Obviously he succeeded, or we really wouldn't have a story, now would we?  
  
Holdadart ordered Abra to get rid of the baby and then quickly drove away in the pizza van.  
  
Abra walked over to little Barry, who had now awakened. The fox got the feather ready. Suddenly, there was a loud screeching noise that sounded almost like the Nodder's doorbell! But no, it was not their doorbell, but they themselves! Or, rather, their angry and vengeful spirits. They quickly covered little Barry. Abra had just brushed Barry's forehead with the feather when he surprisingly crumbled into dust! The only trace of him was the innocent Feather of Death and the small pink peace sign inscribed on Barry's head.  
  
Five hours later, on a street in the middle of a small forest a block away from the Nodders, a flying chicken with a giant on it's back landed. The giant clambered off. "Livin' la vida loca!" he sang, horribly off tune. A short pink haired lady impatiently waited for him in front of a cave, the only one on the street.  
  
"Mygrid! What are you doing?" she shouted as he came up, still singing off tune.  
  
"I'm a listenin to a Ricky Martin!" the Latino nearly yelled. "Try it, you like!"  
  
The lady sighed. "Did you at least remember the boy?"  
  
Emeraldo Mygrid nodded vigorously.  
  
Conglomical sighed again. "Where is he?"  
  
Emeraldo reached into his pocket. "Here he- oh wait, this the best part! Livin la vida loca!" With that, he dropped the baby (for the eighteenth time that night) and started dancing.  
  
Conglomical shrieked and caught the baby. Then she shrieked again, realizing that the baby was not Barry, but a little Oriental/Italian boy named Hyung Guio! "Emeraldo? Who the h*** is this? This isn't Barry! Where'd you get this kid?"  
  
Hyung glared at her, took the pacifier from his mouth and said, "Mama mia!"  
  
"He is neighbor boy Hyung. He from next door." (Which is an orphanage for possible juvenile delinquents.)  
  
"RETURN HIM NOW! AND GO GET BARRY!"  
  
"Who da h*ck Barry?"  
  
"You know, the kid we're trying to save?"  
  
"I thought was named Private Ryan."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"You know, that movie Tom Hank?"  
  
"We're not in a movie here!"  
  
"No wonder there's no cameras."  
  
"Just go get Barry!"  
  
"Who's Barry? All I have is this other kid!" With that, Emeraldo pulled out Barry from another huge pocket.  
  
Conglomical sighed and said, "Uh, Emeraldo, that is Harry! Wait a minute! I meant Barry!"  
  
Emeraldo shrugged, picked Hyung, and chucked him toward the window. "EMERALDO!"  
Author's notes, by Lee: This started out as a school assignment for Adv. Creative Writing in 8th grade. It mutated horribly, and now Joe wants to turn it into a series! AHHH!!! Ahem.  
  
And now for a segment called,  
  
WHO DA H***'S THAT? Dandelion and Thames Nodder - Lily and James Potter Everything's Hollow - Godric's Hollow Lord Holdadart - Voldemort, duh Emeraldo Mygrid - Rubeus Hagrid Conglomical - McGonagall Hyung Guio - Doesn't actually appear in the books.  
  
Disclaimer: Abra Kadabra and Pokemon belong to Nintendo, the beginning of chapter 1 is owned by the guy who wrote the poem, the Harry Potter books/plot/merchandise belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros., Ricky Martin belongs to himself, the song "Livin' La Vida Loca" belongs to him as well (thank the lords), the movie Saving Private Ryan belongs to someone, Tom Hanks owns himself, etc.  
  
We own the idea, Holdadart's outfit, the Beings of Death, and the Feather of Death. And Joe owns the strudel.  
  
Leevee: *gives preview of next chapter anime style* Next up - The authors blatantly disfigure Rumiko Takahashi's works, all while killing two annoying people! Unfortunately, they come back in chapter 3. Oh well!  
  
See you next time for: Chapter the Second: Nissannichuan! 


End file.
